Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
