She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
