My nipple is on Facebook.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
