she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
