what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
