i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
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