i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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