i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
