Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
