everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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