Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i don't like sucking hair
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
