you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I need a burrito and a hug.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
