perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
