Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
