But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
