Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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