I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
