Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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