How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
