You just made me feel so damn special
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
