He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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