I wanna bring you to show and tell
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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