I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
