at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We had sex on a dog bed..
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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