Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
