I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
How's work?
Spinning.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
