i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
