remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
