if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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