Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
