no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
