Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
