im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
