Do you still have your period?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
