Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
