I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
