You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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