We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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