I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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