There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
