Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You smell like stripper and shame
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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