I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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