Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
