Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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