You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
