Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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