I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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