so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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