Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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