maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
