this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
