Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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