We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
