he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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