I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
