Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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